So, what is the best way to start the day?
That depends on you. No that's not a lazy answer it's actually really important. Frequently we want to be told what to do that will make life perfect, but we are the only ones who really know what works for us.
Whatever you determine does work for you one thing is universal, some sort of morning routine is going to be beneficial, so it's worth spending some time to consider how you want to start the day.
Last summer I began to really think about this. A friend of mine had been telling me about his morning routine for a few years and how much he benefitted from it. My initial response (for a few years!) was that there was no way I was getting up any earlier than I already was, and I didn't think much more about it.
Then, last year out of curiosity I began to look more into the benefits of a morning routine. My friend told me that he had read a book called the Miracle Morning. The author, Hal Elrod, had looked at many different morning practices followed by successful people and had identified what he considered to be the best six.
I read the book and felt inspired, and for a month got up at 6am, an hour earlier than usual. It made a really big difference. I felt energised, creative, and more productive. It wasn't sustainable though. For various reasons (two of them being teens who won't go to bed!) an early bedtime wasn't practical and for me sleep is really important. I cannot function for long without a good night sleep. So over time I found ways to fit it in to the schedule I already had. This meant being more organised the night before and spending less time on the morning practices. Although this does feel like a compromise it definitely works for me. I think perhaps the most important thing when considering a morning practice is that it is sustainable and so a shorter but more consistent practice is optimal for me.
So, what is a good way to start the day?
In the Miracle Morning book Hal Elrod talks about six practices you can do in the morning, but I think that what is most important is to give different things a go and see what works best for you.
Using the six practices he identified is a really good way to begin and by trial and error and reading around the topic you can determine what works best for you.
So, the six I began with are:
Meditation
Affirmations
Visualisation
Journaling
Reading
Exercise
Meditation
The idea of meditation if you've never done it can be off-putting. It is important to do it in a way that you are comfortable with. There are no rules. You could take one minute if that's all you've got, or that's all you feel comfortable doing. There are lots of apps that help with meditation. The Calm app, Headspace, the Balance app (not the menopause one - that's a different blog post for the future!), and also YouTube will have guided meditations. You can sit in silence and meditate, focusing on your breathing, or noises around you. Meditating is about being, really being, in the present moment. You can do a loving-kindness meditation where you think about yourself or others with love. A really important thing to know if you've never done it before is that you don't have to sit still and empty your mind of thoughts. That isn't going to happen. But you can sit and not judge your thoughts. There is a lot of guidance on the internet about different ways to do it. Meditation can actually change your brain for the better. It can improve memory, compassion and empathy and actually shrink the parts of the brain associated with the fight/flight part of the brain, reducing anxiety and stress. Who wouldn't want that?! It can be so beneficial to meditate daily.
Affirmations
I had never done affirmations before and thought it was all about standing in front of a mirror telling yourself how much you love yourself. I'm sure that that is one way to do it, but that's definitely not me. And what is most important is doing what feels comfortable to you.
Fundamentally affirmations work because we believe the thoughts we have. We have a negative bias, which is helpful for our survival because it will be the negative things that will cause us problems and so it is important not to ignore them. But if we only hear the negative things we tell ourselves then we aren't encouraged to focus on the positive things that we can do and are less likely to be ambitious and try new things. So, it is really helpful to start the day with positive messages before the negative thoughts take over. Even if you don't consider yourself to have many negative thoughts, positive affirmations will still be beneficial.
It is suggested that affirmations should be in the present tense, positive and personal to be most effective.
A nice easy one to start with is a loving-kindness affirmation of:
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be safe
In time you can make it more personal to you and focus on what matters. Ideally it will be more specific. For example, if you want to get fit, just saying, "I want to be fit" is too vague. It would be more effective to say, "I exercise today to feel good". It is telling your subconscious that you do exercise and what's more it's going to make you feel good. You're much more likely to do something if there is a positive outcome. It is important to note that if you don't feel good after exercising you may want to change it to something that will be true. "I exercise today to feel really pleased that I worked out". I'm not an expert on affirmations and mine have evolved over time. I would recommend googling some ideas and trying out different ways of doing it.
Visualisation
I struggled a bit with visualisation and even Hal Elrod says he tends to use it if he has an event coming up, so for something specific. At first, I imagined how I would feel if things changed but it didn't feel specific enough for me. A friend suggested a mood board I could look at. So, what I currently have is a piece of paper with photos of how I want to be, whether it's being active or calm, alongside some words that resonate with me, such as being "adventurous" or wanting to be "connected". Again, it is very personal to you, and you might be someone who can fly with an exercise like this. There are definitely benefits to visualising an upcoming event. Visualise yourself going in feeling confident and it going well and coming out feeling great. The brain can't tell the difference between imagination and reality so by visualising it the brain believes it's real and it becomes easier to achieve.
Journaling
I had never journaled. I liked the sound of it but didn't really know what to write. Over time this has evolved and does in fact change from day to day. I might write down what I am grateful for. It is easy for worries to hide the good things in our lives and by focusing on what's been good and setting our thoughts in a positive direction we then notice more good things, reducing the stress of negative thoughts. I also use it to write down pros and cons if I'm worrying about something. There's definitely something about the process of handwriting, it has been shown to engage the brain more than typing. A journal can be whatever you want it to be. I mentioned writing down what you are grateful for, but of course you can also write down what is upsetting you, what you are worried about and what could go wrong. I would recommend ending the journal entry with some positive, future focused intentions. Even if it's something along the lines of "I will get through this", "I will cope". The brain believes what we tell it and if we only write down negative emotions, we will leave the journaling with the negative thoughts dominating our day. So ideally spend some time setting a positive intention after writing about negative emotions.
Reading
The idea of reading in the morning is about personal development. It can be a book, but equally it could be an online article you've saved to read at a later time. It's a time of day when we can really focus and take in what we are reading about. Our brains are very receptive because we haven't yet bombarded it with terrible news stories, personal bad news, or the other stresses of the day. It could be to do with your career, health, relationships, or it could be something you'd like to learn about; astronomy, psychology, gardening, there is so much we don't know, it's such a great opportunity to expand our horizons.
Exercise
As with all the other practices, this can be as long or short as you have time for. When I began, I did five minutes free online yoga with Adriene. Now I don't have time to fit it in first thing, but I try to do some a little later in the morning, a quick run, or swim or gym. But again, the idea of exercise shouldn't be off putting. A gentle stroll is exercise. It's about doing something that you don't normally do. Changing your routine.
Making it your own
So, I have talked about my experience and the approach of the Miracle Morning just to give some ideas, but you can make it your own. And if you can only make five minutes, then I'd suggest the meditation gives the best start to the day because it provides a buffer between sleep and the day ahead. But who knows where a change in morning routine could take you. Maybe you'd like to paint, sing (that might depend on who you live with though!) or bake. It's just about starting the day with purpose and making the most of this time of the day, when you are most receptive and using it to maximise the day ahead. Let me know if you have any suggestions for what is already working for you and let me know how you get on if you do try something new.
